You go to the web and google “relationship problems.” Then the overwhelm begins. There is an almost infinite universe of websites and blogs that claim to be able to help you with your relationship.
What information is valid? What really works? Who are these bloggers claiming to be relationship experts? You get stuck in the morass of internet overload. entangled in a web of online choices.
Avoid the relationship junk.
Yes, there’s a lot of rubbish out there. Some of it is the musings of self-declared experts. Other blogs are written by people who are simply recounting their experiences and what they have learned along the way–perhaps entertaining and even enlightening, but not always useful. Other sites are trying to sell some kind of relationship-improvement package. Buyer beware.
The Good Stuff.
Here are my picks for blogs that offer valid and helpful information about relationships. All are written by top experts in the field.
Dr.Stan Tatkin has combined the complexities of neuroscience and attachment theory and some other scientific magic to create the Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy (PACT). His blog brings into focus what happens between couples–not just at the “talk” level but also at the “nervous system” level. Ever wondered why–no matter how hard you try–you can stop having the same arguments? This blog illuminates how the brain, the nervous system, and psychology interact and gives you things to do to make your relationship better.
Dr. Johnson is the “mother” of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, one of the most effective and researched forms of counseling for couples, which has a strong theoretical base on attachment theory. Her blog covers a wide range of topics that can help you understand how to make your love relationships better.
Based on Dr. John Gottman’s four decades of research about what makes relationships work, this blog offers tips about everything from how to navigate relationships in the digital age to what can predict the end of a relationship to ways of connecting with your children.
The wisdom in this blog comes from the experience of Dr. Ellyn Bader and Dr. Peter Pearson, who have been working with couples and training therapists for 30 years. They write about issues such as communication, sex, infidelity, managing emotions, and negotiation. This is an invaluable resource for couples.
This blog offers articles about the latest research about relationships and insights about how to improve them. Relationships First is a nonprofit organization with the goal of creating a world where people put relationships first. It was founded by many of the most outstanding relationship scholars and clinicians in the world, including Stan Tatkin, Sue Johnson, and John Gottman.
Esther Perel is known for her work on “erotic intelligence.” Her blog offers unique insights into ideas such as what couples therapy can do for you, how couples can change their sexual relationship, relationships and health, and cultural aspects of relationships. Required reading for anyone interested in the erotic side of love.
This website offers articles on relationships written by many different experts and clinicians, so it expresses many different points of view. It brings together information about relationship research, practical advice, and relationships with people suffering from mental illness.
I hope guiding you to these legitimate and useful blogs will help you get the information you need to improve your relationships and to determine if and when you need to take the step to seek counseling.
Susan B. Saint-Rossy, LCSW, is a relationship therapist who has been trained in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT), the Gottman Approach to Couples Therapy, and the Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy (PACT). She is the only PACT Level 2 Clinician in Loudoun County and one of only a few in all of Virginia.