14 Sources of Stress Relief for Infertility Patients

Infertility stress – Yikes – If you have it, you know how debilitating it can be. Research backs up the notion that it’s one of the worst stressors people can have. Stress levels of those with an infertility diagnosis are equivalent to those diagnosed with cancer or HIV, according to recent studies. And one recent study revealed a link between stress levels and success in treatment:  those with less stress had more success getting pregnant.

So what can you do to lower stress?  Briefly, here are 14 suggestions:

1. Join a support group

Lots of evidence shows that patients’ talking and supporting each other as they go through treatment lowers stress. Find support groups in your community through RESOLVE, the National Infertility Organization (www.resolve.org), your infertility clinic, or local infertility counselors.

2. Work with a qualified infertility counselor or therapist

Make an appointment with a nearby counselor who is trained in infertility counseling. It’s important that the professional you see has expertise in this highly specialized field. ASRM, the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, has a list of qualified mental health professionals in the resources section of their website (www.asrm.org).

3. Meditate

Learn to meditate or find some guided meditations you like on the web or on CD. There is plenty of evidence that meditation reduces stress by positively affecting your nervous system and improving your general sense of well-being. You can even find guided meditations for those undergoing infertility treatments if you search on the web.

4. Get support from friends and relatives

It’s important to let others you trust know what you are going through. This is tricky, though, because some people are just not sensitive to the degree of stress infertility causes. Wisely choose whom you tell and whom you go to for support.

5. Maintain clear communication with your spouse or partner

Your partner may not have the same worries or anxiety as you do, nor may they really understand everything that’s happening in your mind and your body. It is vital that both of you communicate with each other about feelings and stresses so that you are there—in a safe and secure “couple bubble”—to help each other get through the demands of treatment.

6. Demand good communication with medical professionals and understanding of options

Make sure you feel comfortable communicating with the team at your clinic. Many times patients become stressed because they don’t get complete answers or clear explanations of the next possible steps in treatment. The last thing infertility patients need is their medical professionals to be too busy or distracted to keep them informed.

7. Breathe

When anxiety hits, many patients don’t know that simple breathing techniques can create a quick reduction in stress. There are even some smart phone apps that you can use to learn stress-lowering breathing techniques.

8. Understand finances and financial planning

One of the most overwhelming stressors can be figuring out the complexities of financing infertility treatment, especially since many insurance plans cover only part or even none of the treatment. Help is often available from a financial officer at the infertility clinic. Better yet, find an unbiased financial planner with experience in the financial ins and outs of fertility treatment.

9. Find spiritual/religious guidance and support

Talking with your priest, pastor, a spiritual advisor or trusted friend can be helpful for many people.  You may need help sorting out your and your church’s beliefs about medical interventions for infertility. You may need to find solace on a spiritual level as you go through the treatment process. Prayer or other spiritual activities can help with stress.

1o. Try massage

Sometimes the body just needs a little nudging to relax. But there is a caveat: talk to you doctor about when during treatment it is safe to get a massage.

11. Exercise

The stress-reducing function of exercise has been well documented. On days when you feel good enough, exercise. As you go through treatment, you may need to modify the type of exercise you participate in. Talk with your nurse or doctor.

12. Do yoga

A qualified yoga instructor can teach you yoga poses that will lower stress. Some will even suggest poses to increase fertility, possibly by increasing blood flow to areas of the body.

13. Get acupuncture

Many believe that acupuncture can help as you go through treatment. Alice Domar, one of the pioneers in the field of mental health for infertility patients, recommends that patients have acupuncture treatments both for stress relief and possibly to help with infertility itself.

14. Receive guidance from a trusted professional about any legal issues

Some infertility treatments involve use of donor eggs or sperm or surrogates. Many times, approaching the possibility of using these treatments can be stress provoking. To decrease stress, find an attorney experienced in the field to advise you and draw up any necessary legal documents.

For more information about any of these, look for future blogs that will expand on some of the techniques listed here. Or give me a call to chat about your options, and I’ll try to point you in the right direction – 703-651-6626.

Susan B. Saint-Rossy  is a  PACT (Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy) Level 2 Clinician and is also trained in EFT (Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy) and the Gottman Approach to Couples Therapy. She is a clinical social worker licensed in Virginia and Washington, DC.

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