RECOVERING FROM INFIDELITY
Betrayal feels like the end. It doesn’t have to be.
Infidelity—an affair, cheating, secrecy, broken trust—whatever you call it, it shakes the foundation of your relationship. It’s a trauma that leaves the betrayed partner reeling, unable to make sense of what’s real anymore. And for the one who strayed, it often comes with overwhelming shame, confusion, or regret.
Everything is out in the open now. But what comes next?
Can you rebuild after betrayal? Is it even possible to restore trust? And more importantly—should you?
These are the questions couples bring to therapy when infidelity has shattered their relationship. Whether the betrayal was a sexual affair, emotional infidelity, an online entanglement, or another form of secrecy, the pain is real. And so is the uncertainty about what to do next.
What you’ve tried hasn’t worked
Maybe you’ve talked in circles, rehashing the details but getting nowhere. Maybe you’ve avoided talking at all, pretending things can just go back to normal. Or perhaps you’ve tried to move forward, only to be blindsided by triggers, resentment, or waves of grief that won’t let you forget.
Most couples don’t heal from infidelity on their own. That’s not because they don’t want to—it’s because betrayal isn’t just an emotional wound.
It’s a neurobiological injury.
It activates deep survival instincts, hijacks your ability to think clearly, and leaves both partners stuck in cycles of blame, withdrawal, and despair.
Trying to “just get over it” or “talk it out” without understanding what’s really happening beneath the surface only leads to more pain.
You can recover. And your relationship can become stronger.
An affair doesn’t have to mean the end of your relationship. Many couples who commit to the healing process not only repair their bond but create a relationship that is deeper, more secure, and more connected than ever before.
But healing requires more than time and good intentions.
It requires a structured, guided process that helps you rebuild trust, understand what led to the betrayal, and create a new foundation for safety and connection.
With my approach, you and your partner will:
Stabilize the Crisis – Move through the initial devastation and disorientation with structured guidance, so you’re not drowning in emotion or reacting out of fear.
Rebuild Trust and Safety – Learn how to repair the deep emotional injury, address underlying relationship patterns, and create a bond that feels secure.
Understand the Affair – Gain clarity about what led to the betrayal—not to excuse it, but to understand it in a way that helps you move forward.
Transform Your Relationship – Develop the tools to reconnect, communicate, and navigate future challenges in a way that makes your relationship stronger than before.
This is not about quick fixes. Real healing takes time—
often a year or more of committed work.
But many couples feel relief early on as arguments decrease, communication improves, and hope starts to return.
The Path to Healing
COUPLES THERAPY CAN HELP.
Why work with me?
I specialize in helping couples recover from betrayal using proven, research-backed approaches that integrate contemporary neuroscience, attachment theory, and psychobiology. My approach goes beyond traditional talk therapy to address what’s happening in your brain and nervous system, not just in your thoughts.
Couples often come to me feeling stuck in cycles of fighting, shutting down, or emotional numbness. Together, we break those patterns and create the conditions for deep healing and reconnection.
If you and your partner are both committed to doing the work, I can guide you through a structured, compassionate process toward recovery.
What’s at stake?
Left unhealed, betrayal leaves lasting scars. Unresolved pain can turn into resentment, emotional distance, and repeated cycles of mistrust—whether you stay together or not.
But for couples willing to face this challenge together, the outcome can be life-changing:
A relationship where both of you feel seen, heard, and valued.
A bond built on honesty, safety, and deep emotional connection.
The ability to move forward without the weight of the past pulling you down.
Question 1: Infidelity has blown our relationship apart. How can there still be hope for us?
Fortunately, in the past decade or so, much has been done to improve the outcome of couples therapy for infidelity. We understand much more about why people betray each other and how to repair the rupture. Specific techniques and approaches have been tested, and their effectiveness measured. Working with me, you will learn strategies and techniques from these effective methods, including Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT), the Gottman Approach, and especially the Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy (PACT).
Question 2: What if we’ve hurt each other so much that it feels irreparable?
Often couples who come to therapy feel this way. They have tried to solve their own problems but have developed such negative patterns in their relationship that they’ve just been resigned to living in emotional pain. Even early in therapy, many of these couples have found that their negative patterns can be changed and problems can be solved.
Question 3: How long will it take for us to be better?
Repairing and restoring safety and security after infidelity takes time, usually a year or more. However, many couples find that they start getting along better after the first few sessions: arguments decrease, communication improves, and hope for a better relationship becomes real.
Each couple is unique. Couples always decide for themselves when the therapy has created enough progress toward goals to be complete.
Question 4: How can I tell if you are the right therapist for us?
You can get a sense of who I am and how I work with couples by reading this website. But you cannot really know if working with me will feel right until we meet in person. If you are drawn to what you’ve read here, set up a 15-minute free video consultation where we can meet and you can get a sense of what it may be like to work with me. My hope is that with me you’ll feel safe to explore your relationship and find relief from your pain, gain insight into your situation, and learn concrete steps to take for a happier life together.
Question 5: What if we know we want to separate or divorce and want help with the process?
I work with couples who are committed to doing the work to save their relationship. Sometimes you discover in the couples work that this is impossible for you. If you are seriously contemplating divorce, I recomment that you find a therapist who is trained to help you decide if separation and divorce are the right solution. If you contact me, I will give you a referral to someone like this. I can also refer you to professionals who are specialists in collaborative divorce and issues related to children of divorce.
FAQs about healing from betrayal
Ready to take the first step?
If you’re ready to start the process of healing, let’s talk. I offer a free 15-minute video consultation so you can get a sense of what working with me would be like.
This isn’t about rushing to forgiveness or forcing reconciliation—it’s about clarity, healing, and making the best choice for your future.
Click below to schedule your consultation. Your next chapter starts here.