When your relationship feels like work (or hell) and you don’t want to take months (years?) to fix it
COUPLES THERAPY INTENSIVES AND RETREATS
(IN PERSON OR ONLINE)
You need high impact intensive therapy for high achieving couples.
When your relationship is stuck, the last thing you need is slow, drawn-out therapy sessions that take months to get anywhere.
You need answers. Breakthroughs. A way forward and now.
That’s why I offer Couples Therapy Intensives and Private Retreats—focused, high-impact sessions designed to focus on the most pressing issue, break the cycle, reset your connection, and help you move forward fast.
Think of it as a private couples retreat—just for the two of you—where real change actually happens.
The problem isn’t just the fights. It’s what comes after.
Right now, you’re trapped in the same arguments, the same silences, the same slow drift apart.
You tell yourself it’s just a rough patch. That you’ll figure it out. That things will get better.
Until one day, something small—a text, a sigh, a look—makes you realize: this isn’t working.
A simple, three-word message—“Did you call?”—fired off between meetings, somewhere between the quarterly earnings report and picking up the kids.
You have a visceral reaction to the message. It isn’t the words that make your stomach clench. It’s the tone you know they carry. Short. Cold. Dismissive.
Later, over Doordashed Pad Thai because neither of you has time to cook—your partner sets down their fork just a little too hard. A sigh. That look.
And then, like clockwork, it begins.
“I feel like I can’t say anything without you getting defensive.”
“I feel like I can’t say anything without you criticizing me.”
“Oh, so now I’m the problem?”
“I’m too tired for this.”
“Same.”
You sit in silence, picking at your noodles while the kids talk—oblivious to the fact that their parents are now little more than business partners with a shared mortgage.
Later, in bed, inches apart but worlds away, you scroll Instagram mindlessly while your partner stares at the ceiling.
This isn’t one big fight. That would almost be easier. This is the slow, grinding exhaustion of a relationship running on autopilot.
You aren’t broken. Not yet. But you’re heading there.
And the thought of spending years in therapy, rehashing every argument one session at a time? Absolutely unbearable.
Something has to change. Now.
You’ve tried to fix this. It hasn’t worked.
Maybe you’ve:
Bought the books. (And highlighted passages for them. That they never read.)
Watched the TED Talks, listened to the podcasts. (And forwarded them. With no response.)
Scheduled the date nights. (Which mostly involved talking about the kids or scrolling your phones.)
Done therapy before. (Which felt like an expensive way to hear each other say the same things you argue about at home.)
Decided to “just be nicer.” (That lasted about four days, until one of you left a wet towel on the bed and all bets were off.)
You’ve been trying. But nothing sticks.
Because you can’t schedule connection like a dentist appointment. You can’t fix years of resentment in therapy blocks wedged between work calls and school pickups.
And you sure as hell can’t strong-arm your way back into feeling in love.
That’s why you need something different.
Not another half-hearted date night.
Not another week of promising to “try harder.”
Not another round of therapy that drags on for months with no real change.
You need to reset the specific dynamic. And you need it now.
A reset for your relationship—Because you deserve more than just “getting by”
You don’t want a roommate.
You don’t want a co-parenting partner.
You want the person you fell in love with back.
And while many couples book retreats hoping to reconnect, most group retreats don’t give you the deep, focused work you actually need.
A Couples Therapy Intensive is a one-couple retreat—designed just for you—so you get real results, not just a temporary escape.
This isn’t about learning to tolerate each other.
This is about actually wanting to be together again.
What a couples therapy intensive is—and what it isn’t
A couples therapy intensive is:
A Focused Deep Dive – No small talk, no fluff. Just dedicated time to get to the root of a specific relationship struggle and start solving it.
A Fast Track to Change – You get the concentrated help so you can learn quickly what and how to change your dynamic.
Designed for High-Performing Couples – Tailored for those who expect results and need an efficient, effective approach.
Private & High-Touch – This is a concierge-level experience for just the two of you.
A Reset, Not a Band-Aid – Not about managing symptoms, it’s about fundamentally transforming the way you communicate, connect, and show up.
Active & Intense — It’s not called an intensive just because of the length of time. Couples should be ready and willing to do difficult emotional work.
A couples therapy intensive isn’t:
A Magic Fix – If you’re looking for a quick “hack” or for the intensive to “fix” your partner, this isn’t for you.
Just Talking About Your Feelings – This is action-oriented therapy. You’ll practice real techniques that shift your interactions.
A Rehash of Every Past Argument – We don’t waste time reliving old fights. We identify patterns and shift them in real time.
A Generic Therapy Session – Not cookie-cutter couples counseling. An intensive is tailored to you.
For Couples Who Have Already Checked Out – If one of you is halfway out the door and just looking to confirm it’s over, this isn’t the right fit.
For Couples Who Have Recently Experienced Betrayal — Emotions are too intense to benefit from an intensive. Read about betrayal here.
How it works—A science-backed, results-driven approach
PACT (Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy) is the foundation of the work we do in couples intensives, but you won’t hear clinical jargon while you’re here.
Instead, you’ll experience what works.
PACT is based on one simple truth: Your brain reacts to your partner before you even think about it.
When your relationship is strained, your body automatically prepares for battle—even over small things.
Ever had one of these moments?
o Your partner walks into the room, and before they say a word, you feel annoyed.
o You hear a sigh, a particular “Okay, sure”—and suddenly, you’re defensive.
o They ask an innocent question, but all you hear is criticism.
That’s not random. That’s your nervous system scanning them for threats.
And when things have been tense for too long, your brain starts assuming the worst.
A Couples Therapy Intensive interrupts that cycle. Instead of analyzing what’s wrong for months, we reset how you interact and teach you new ways to connect—fast.
Here’s how we do it:
1: Step Out of the Chaos
First, we pull you out of daily distractions—emails, work stress, school drop-offs—so you can actually focus on your relationship.
Because let’s be honest:
a. You’re too busy to have deep, productive conversations at home.
b. You’ve trained yourselves to avoid certain topics. (Or, worse, you’ve trained yourselves to avoid each other.)
c. Your home environment is filled with emotional landmines.
An intensive gives you neutral ground—a place where you can open yourselves up to new ways of communicating and connecting.
2: Get to the Root of the Problem (Fast)
Most couples think they’re fighting about logistics:
Who’s handling what at home
How money is being spent
How often you’re having sex
But those aren’t the real issues. They’re just symptoms.
Underneath those fights, your brain is scanning for deeper answers:
“Am I important to you?”
“Do you have my back?”
“Can I trust you to be there for me?”
And when the answer feels like a maybe, everything else starts feeling like a threat.
Instead of arguing about who left the laundry in the washer again, we go straight to what’s really happening underneath:
The deeper fears and unmet needs driving your fights
Why your brain keeps going into “defensive mode” before you even realize it
What you actually need from each other—but might not know how to ask for
3: Learn How to Communicate Without Blowing Up (or Shutting Down)
If traditional talk therapy is like reading a book about swimming, a PACT-based intensive is like getting in the water with a coach guiding you every step of the way.
You’re not just going to talk about your relationship.You’re going to experience new ways of interacting—right there, in real time.
You’ll practice listening with presence (instead of just waiting for your turn to talk).
You’ll learn how to interrupt a fight before it spirals.
You’ll learn to stop assuming your partner is criticizing you when they’re actually asking for connection.
This isn’t about teaching you “healthy communication skills.” You already know you should listen and validate each other.
This is about rewiring how you interact—so it actually sticks.
4: Feel Connected Again—Without Forcing It
Love isn’t about logic—it’s about how safe and connected you feel.
Right now, that connection feels distant, strained, or like hard work.
During the intensive, you’ll:
Have real moments of connection (the kind that remind you why you fell in love in the first place).
Shift the way you see each other (so you stop expecting criticism and start expecting support).
Learn how to create safety (because when you feel safe with each other, intimacy and trust happen naturally).
When you experience what a secure, connected relationship feels like, with work and focus, it eventually becomes your new normal.
5: Leave With a Plan That Can Actually Works
This isn’t just a great weekend and then back to reality. This is a reset—with a plan to make sure things stay better after you leave.
Before you go, we’ll map out:
What’s going to trigger old patterns—and how to handle it
How to keep building trust and connection in small, daily moments
A step-by-step plan for handling conflict differently—so you don’t fall back into the same fights or if you do, know how to get out of them and repair fully.
You’ll leave knowing what to do to keep this momentum going—whether you continue with regular therapy or take what you’ve learned and run with it.
Retreat/Intensive Packages
Two-Day — 6 hours each day with an hour lunch break each day. Total of 10 hours with me. Cost = $4,800
Three-Day — 6 hours each day with a lunch breaks. Total of 15 hours with me. Cost = $7,200
Bespoke — We can also create a bespoke intensive/retreat experience, depending on your needs, with hours a day and total days to be determined by us as we look at your needs. Contact me to discuss the possibilities.
An in-person private retreat can be designed to give you both an intensive couples work experience plus other activities that couples can do together to strengthen their relationships. Examples include dancing lessons, art experiences, horseback riding, and sports outings.
Loudoun County, Virginia, is beautiful wine and horse country. If you come for a retreat, we’ll make time for you to enjoy your visit as well as do the work to create the couples connection you desire.
If you prefer an online intensive from the comfort of your own home, we can set up video meetings to accommodate this. The only requirement is that you be located in Virginia or Washington, DC.
Frequently Asked Questions
How long is the wait to be scheduled for an intensive or retreat?
Usually the wait is two to four weeks because we have to find a time when I can schedule long sessions several days in a row.
Are intensives or retreats covered by insurance?
Not usually. In general, health insurance companies do not even cover regular couples work because it is not considered a “medical” issue. There are exceptions to this rule, when the couples therapy is helping one person in a couple with a mental illness. We can talk more about this when you have your free consultation.
Can you help us find a place to stay if we want to come from out of town for a retreat or intensive?
Yes. I can send you the names of resorts, B&Bs, and hotels close by. I can also direct you to information about things to do in Loudoun County, Virginia.
What happens after the retreat is over? Will we still need to continue our couples work.
That depends on you and your situation. Some couples feel they could benefit from more work with me and want to schedule sessions after the intensive. We can do that if you reside in Virginia or Washington, DC, where I am licensed. If you do not live in either of those places and you want to continue your work, I can refer you to a couples therapist where you live.
